Transitions.

Transitions feel big when going through them. Transitions are a part of life. We all know what I am talking about here. The moment when something is not what it was. 

I am in the middle of a transition and have a billion or what feels like a billion coming up. 

My life in a nutshell: 

Finish out the school year (the one where I am a teacher, not a student)

Go to Boston with my sister for a week

Go to Lebanon for a week with a friend

Teach in Jordan for three weeks

4 days of training in Kansas City

Go to Georgia with my family for a week

Start teaching in August (thankfully at the same school)

This is just the big things. That list does not include all the logistics and money and shuffle and mess that will come. The above list is all happening in the span of two months! Ya! my life is nuts. But whose isn't? There are many important things I am learning and processing through this crazy season.

My to-do lists could reach the floor and my brain hurts from trying to juggle all of my tasks. Whew. Enough is enough. These are things to come. One day at a time is my mantra. It is not going very well clearly as we view the above statements of stress. 

I am reading this book called Looming Transitions, I would highly recommend it, this book has given me lots to think on. I know that these are just small transitions and a foreshadowing of what is to come. I plan to one day (hopefully soon) move my life overseas. Do I know when, where or how? No, but I know the transition is coming and I need to be ready. I also need to give myself grace for when I respond poorly or drop the ball or miss a deadline because I am so overwhelmed by the transition. Transitions are time-consuming and life-changing. 

I am working through how to live in the tension of the transition. On a small scale, knowing I will be gone all summer: How do I balance people well but all the tasks I need to complete? How do I enjoy the here and now in my current city but get excited for the new places I will visit? These are things I am working through.

I do know a few things. My God never changes. All these things will. I will. But He never does. My time with Him will ebb and flow but He will be my one constant. Will I choose to sing "it is well with my soul" when I feel overwhelmed. Or will I pause and see a person as a Child of God when I am frustrated? These are things only time will tell and cultivating a fertile soul will help produce the fruit of a Son of God. 

Please feel free to reach out to me if you have additional thoughts on transitions or would want to discuss your own transitions. Email: trfenton1@gmail.com

This is life: I'm a mess

We are going on two weeks now of being sick. I have had a sinus headache for two weeks. I would say this is the life of a teacher but honestly I am really annoyed with it now.

I do not want this to be a space where I vent but I think it is good to get ideas and thoughts written down. With that all said, here is what is happening in my life.

Life is messy; come to find out, life is more gray than black in white. These are things I know in my head but the reality of them still daunt me.

I sat today frozen in my small classroom because I did not know the next best step of action. I want to do my job well but I don't know how. So I do nothing. Which is not the best course of action but it's what I feel like I'm stuck in.

I am now an ESL teacher. For those of you who don't know what ESL is, it stands for English as a Second Language. You may have also heard ELL which means English Language Learner. ELL is technically more politically correct (this is a topic I could write a whole page on but I will leave it at that for now).

This means that I work in the four elements of the English language with my students. We focus on reading, writing, speaking and listening. What that actually looks like each day, I have no idea. I am still learning. This is my first year of teaching. One month in and I feel like a failure. I know I am not but I have fallen flat on my face and want to pick myself up, so I do but then I stand there lost and dazed.

This is the beginning of a journey, one that I want to be half way through at least but I am just starting out and I need to be patient. I love working cross culturally and with students. I do not love feeling like I am floundering and that I am incompetent. I cannot focus on those negative things but remind myself that my value does not come from how good I am at my job. I am loved and can love just the way I am.

These are the things I am learning in this new season.

P.S. I am going to try and post more than once a year. Haha

Changes, Transitions and other messy things

This is new. So am I, so is my city and my job and my friends and the list goes on.

Just because things are new does not mean they are bad it just means it has been a lot to adjust to.

I have lived in my new city for about a year and I have been working at my new job for about three months. So as you can tell my life has been full of changes.

I want to take a moment to discuss the things I am learning. I work with students now, specifically of the ages of  6 to 9 years old. I often tell them that I want to be a life long learner and so to prove that I am changing this blog to be the things I learn with the hopes that other people can learn from me.

The name of the blog is "Each day is a new day: Grace with accountability". Well these are two phrases I am learning to live by.

I went to a Trauma informed care session at a Professional development day and the speaker said this phrase "Each day is a new day". I have taken that to heart with my interactions with my students. Honestly, I should take this mind set with all the people in my life. It is realizing that the things done yesterday are forgiven and today is a new day. Jesus himself, talks about this concept about not letting the sun set when you are angry. I also just think that the way Jesus would want us to love those around us would be to give them the grace and love each new day regardless of their actions towards us yesterday.

The second part is something I learned from job training. Grace with accountability. What does this mean? This is one I am still processing and running through my mind. I want to give each student grace but also hold them accountable to their actions and the way they treat other people.

This adventure is different and new but I never say no to a good adventure.

I'm Back!!

Not sure how many of you will read this now that I am back in the states.
But I need a reflection time so here it goes.

I loved my time in France. I would go again in a heartbeat. And I would change nothing about my time. I guess those are all good things.

My time back in the states has been rough. Not only do I miss my friends; I miss the food and the culture and the way people talk and the way they interact. I am having reverse culture shock.

Things have changed and yet some things have stayed the same while I was gone. Now it is this mess of wading through it all and figuring out what has changed, what hasn't and how I've changed. Not the most fun process ever.

Life goes on. And I know that life will go on and one day I will be able to return to lovely France and French culture.

I have taken some time out of my life to take a step back and look at everything. It is all very overwhelming. I think I prefer just living life but at the same time that is overwhelming and I need time to process all that has occurred and how I respond differently and make different decisions based on who I am because of how France has shaped me. I am a different person today than I was last year, than I was last semester, than I was last week, and than I was yesterday. Everybody changes. Tomorrow holds a future me and I look forward to embracing that.

I also want to give a shout out to all my friends in France who truly made my experience worth while.
Une grande merci pour tous mes amis en France qui m'ont donné une bonne experience!
Merci je vous aime!

Time can mean a lot

I have less than a week now in Clermont-Ferrand, so I thought I would give another update and share some of my thoughts on my time here.

I have spent four months here in France in a city called Clermont-Ferraand. Four months is short but at the same time long enough to make friends.

The last couple weeks flew by. I finished my classes now I just a have a week of exams. Here are the little things I did in the past month. Ashley and I had a plate of the day at a small locally owned cafe just next to our residence, the meal was nothing fantastic but it was french and the company was great and the owner of the cafe is so nice and cares about us. (The first month we went every morning to her cafe for a cup of coffee).
I have helped lead English corners with the FEU...that has a had a big impact on my life.
We had a Christmas party with the FEU, in which I played a role in a sketch and sang a song...Yes I am quiet talented now :)
Ashley and I, we had a party for us with our friends we have made here in France, it was a going away party and since we both have birthdays in the month of December we decided to call it a birthday party plus that is less sad. Below are some pictures of just some of the friends we made. We had a meal at the party and it was a meal that I ate the very first night at the FEU long ago in September when I barely spoke french and was uncomfortable in France...Now it is a whole another story. For dessert we had my favorite; tarte au chocolat. Yep just chocolate tarte. Really simple but my favorite.

I cannot begin to express the gravity of an adventure such as this. I learned so much and grew a lot. I learned to live in another culture and speak another language. I made friends and saw another part of the world. And so I want to say Thank you; to all the friends I made, to all back home who continued to talk to me even though at times it was inconvenient and for those who supported me with prayers (Kim and Archie and Allegra) and financially (yes that would be you dad!) Thanks!

This is Ashley and I's party...We look lovely

Ines and Ashley; good friends

A meal at the FEU...some of my best times were in that apartment and with those people.

Cold December night

I am sitting in my room listening to "Cold December Night" getting ready for the Christmas season. Ashley and I have already decorated our rooms with snow flakes and the center of town has a huge Christmas tree already up and a giant Ferris wheel!

But as you all know Thanksgiving comes before Christmas...well not here in France :)
However I was blessed with the opportunity to celebrate it with my friends in the FEU. This is the second here in Clermont where they have a Thanksgiving dinner. We had more than 50 people show up! I was also in a skit...where I was a turkey...it was very funny. The food was good to but does not compare to our Thanksgiving meal.

Christmas is quickly approaching and I am very ready for Christmas I am not ready to leave France.

Another opportunity I took was to serve at the food bank. I volunteered my time at a grocery store collecting food for the food bank. On a more fun note I saw the second Hunger Games...yes completely in French. Also I find it funny that the French say "unger games" because they do not pronounce the "h".

Also not sure I have mentioned this or not but I also spent a weekend in the mountains with the FEU. It was really cold! I puts some photos in here so you can see. We could see absolutely nothing because of the white and fog. It was so beautiful up there. And so many cool moments playing games and singing with people from all countries and walks of life. That was a weekend I will not forget.

We made pumpkin and apple pies. Pretty American...some of them had never eaten pumpkin pie before!

Lots and lots of snow!

Marélie and me enjoying the snow (right before our walk in the snow)

Just another view of the nature around me so you can be jealous of where I live :)

The Eiffel tower

I suppose I should give an update. I apologize because I am not good at blogging. Honestly, I forget I have a blog and then someone mentions it.

Anyway update.

Well in the last three weeks I have done some pretty amazing things.

During the week of vacation I hiked a mountain. It is 1465 meters above sea level and me and some friends did the whole trip in one day. Below is a picture of what I climbed. The weather was nice for the way up but on the way down…it rained so by the time we got back we were really wet. It was well worth it though. I was very proud of myself when I made it to the top!

I also went to Paris. So yes I have pictures of the Eiffel tower! I also ate escargot in Paris, walked along the Seine River with a dear friend of mine and fell in love with the Eiffel tower. Paris is beautiful and amazing and wow but I prefer living in Clermont-Ferrand. I guess I should add that I did other stuff in Paris besides see the Eiffel tower. I saw the Mona Lisa and still I do not understand why she is such a popular painting. And I walked through two churches in Paris that are older than the United States. That is a little weird to walk through the Notre Dame and think wow this building was here before The U.S was founded. But the churches took your breath away with the splendor and beauty. 

In the near future these things are coming up…Next weekend I am going to a mountain outside of Clermont with a group of friends. Then I have finals then I leave to Berlin.

Yes I hiked this!

Le tour Eiffel and me

Me holding the Louvre: it is really small

Me and Molly at a French restaurant called 1513 because that is the year the building was constructed...so it was a really old building. Also I ate a crepe there. How French!